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The difference that really makes the difference

The soul or mind and life are powers of living and can grow, but cannot be cut or made..... One can indeed help the being to grow ... but even so, the growth must still come from within.

Sri Aurobindo, The Life Divine

When I joined what was then English Electric as a trainer in their engineering training school I had no experience in training. My then manager sent me on the only training techniques course of which he knew - the Instructional Techniques course in the ..... RAF! I was the only woman on the course and the only civilian. This is an experience I will always remember. I learnt many things including 'how to calculate the maximum take off weight of a VC10' and I learnt all about the Doppler effect. On the training side I learnt how to write training notes so that I could glance at them from a distance and how to write on a chalkboard in such a way that the chalk didn't break! More seriously though I did learn how to structure a training session and in particular how to open a session and how to close one. I leant how to set measurable objectives for learning and how to speak for 3 minutes without using my notes! This foundation stood me in good stead for many years.

And then there was NLP .....

Then I attended my first NLP course and I was astounded by the elegance and skill of the trainers. I had never before experienced trainers who could listen with their whole body the way that they could. I had never heard trainers confront such personal issues as they did and bring about change so powerfully and with such engaging style. I never once saw one of them refer to notes in fact I never saw any of them with any notes! I experienced them engage with one person in the group in such a way that you would think that one person was the only one there and yet they had the total undivided attention hearts and minds of the rest of the group. I was as impressed with their style as much as I was with the content of what they were teaching. They walked the talk. They were the example of what they believed.

And since then I have seen and heard programmes for trainers that promote the NLP skills to enhance the way that we train. These include:

• how to build relationships with the delegates on your courses
• how to match individual styles so that you can present your ideas in ways that each person can understand and develop
• how to recognise patterns in both your own and your delegates language and challenge them when it is appropriate to influence change and learning
• how to teach to both the conscious and the unconscious mind
• how to detect the spoken and the unspoken needs
• how to bring humour and enjoyment into learning
• how to create learning experiences such that delegates can learn the skills they need effortlessly and elegantly
• how to set compelling goals for your training and consistently achieve them

and there is more, much, much more .....

But I have come to the conclusion over time that this is not what really makes the difference. I have been privileged to work in the company of some of the best trainers in the world. Amongst these I would include Gene Early, Robert Dilts, David Gordon, Barbara Witney and Christina Hall. And I have the wonderful company of various guests on our programmes including Brian Keenan, Raymond Blanc and Paul Boateng. And so I have been able to model the best of the best when it comes to people who can stimulate change and growth.

So just what is the difference that really makes the difference?

Well I believe the answer lies at the heart of NLP - the ability to model; the ability to unpack ones own experience at both the conscious and the unconscious level and in so doing to be able to influence by example. By learning and growing with the group we provide a role model and they to us.

One of my associates once challenged me when she said 'Sue what does it mean to sit at the front of a training room? Does it mean that you have less to learn than the delegates?' That hit home and we now position ourselves as co-learners on our programmes. We do not have the answers but we do have some of the questions. For me experts and gurus aren't effective trainers but co-learners are.

And what else makes the difference? Well I think Tom Cruise makes the point well in Gerry Maguire. When we play (in the case of trainers - learn) only with our head we can be clever but we will not excel. It is only when we play with our heart that we truly connect with our audience, our delegates, our clients and ourselves. There are no easy quick fixes for what really makes the difference. The answer lies in dedication and passion and I am thankful to have met some of those people who for me are models of excellence in this.