May 2012

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Fear

Of all base passions, fear is the most accurs'd — Shakespeare

Fear of success, fear of water, fear of a foreign country.Fear is the theme, and you can read how Danny Maude, Sylvia Stevenson and I all managed those fears.

Owen York Bungee Jumper

Stepping Off

I have already written about my adventures in the build up to my trip to Australia and at the Great Barrier Reef and even so it was such a momentous time for me that I am reproducing it here (with some pics!!). Danny describes his fear of play when at one of his most revered sites for the game. And Sylvia and her fear of travelling to India. What we all did was to model (in NLP terms to study the structure of excellence) both in ourselves and in others—in my case anyone who had overcome the same fear or anyone who had confidence underwater although the former was the potentially most valuable for me. So the way we dealt with our fears is the theme for this newsletter (and we have an additional delightful article; a study in enriched language by Trevor Horne. Maybe if there is something in your life that you fear our learnings might just ripple out to you. I hope so.

Modelling or not?

Having just completed a Master Practitioner, NLP and modelling is very much in the forefront of my mind… so for those of you who want to know if you are modelling or not… (and there is huge a difference between say, interviewing or benchmarking in the traditional sense and modelling) here are some clues …

You are probably not modelling if the person you are modelling (your subject)

  • is confused and you are not!
  • holds the outcome
  • is meta commenting on the experience
  • is telling you how they do what they do
  • is apologising for not being able to answer your questions
  • is explaining to you in a way that you may understand
  • is proving to you what you already believed and had assumed
  • is in the past or future tense

and if you

  • are using the words ‘I/me/tell/think/describe …’
  • are wondering what you might ask next!!
  • are using only questioning techniques to find answers

And you probably are modelling if

  • you are confused
  • you hold the outcome
  • you are invisible to the subject and dedicated to learning from them through your open curiosity
  • you and your subject are both learning how they do what they do
  • you are surprised by what you are discovering about your subject
  • what you are discovering is really stretching your ‘map of the world’
  • your subject has to go internally to explore the answer to the question (assuming you are modelling through questions)
  • you have found ways to watch and listen to your subject in action
  • your discoveries are coming mainly from what you observe rather than what your subject tells you

If you want to read some great examples of modelling then look here

If you want to see the presentations of some great modellers then join us here

And if you want to learn how to model then join me here

In modelling writers I came across this para by Felicity Kendall talking about her experience of India.

“Settling back into my seat, I smiled. This was the India I remembered from my childhood a place where authority is both absolute and yielding, where chaos and order sit side by side. Romantic, emotional, infuriating and glorious. It is a country that, for all my many years in England I still think of as home.”

This extract was from a write up previewing a programme by her on BBC2 in May this year I will be watching out for this!

If you are curious about India and want to progress your learning with NLP then how about joining us in India in one of our winter programmes (and avoid the British winter if that is where you are based!).

Dates for your Diary

France

Master Practitioner/Trainer Training only places left in September

UK

NLP Business Practitioner
October (follow up 2 days in November)

A very special day modelling and practising the work of Frank Farrelly
Provocative Day October 16h

India

Practitioner/Master Practitioner/Trainer Training/Master Trainer–Coach

Australia

Practitioner/Master Practitioner dates to be set very probably Nov 2012

Noticing the Fear and Doing it Anyway

I haven't always been great at coping with my fears, fear of competition, fear of messing up, letting my dad down, myself down.the usual kind.

Danny Maude

I particularly remember a time when I was playing in a PGA Tournament at Wentworth and at the time my previous two seasons had been appalling and I was struggling to break par in nearly every round I played in. By the time I had arrived at Wentworth my confidence was at an all time low, I had nerves prior to the event that I could not keep under control to the point I would even struggle to enjoy my cooked breakfast. My wife Laura will tell you, for something to put me off my food things must have been pretty bad. Read on…

Two flowers

Detail from Burnet on a Leek

Detail from Burnet on Leek

No Context No Contest?

Some years ago now I wrote an article describing an experience I had at sea as captain of a naval survey vessel. In it I recalled how I would often wake at night for no apparent reason. How I would lie still and firstly check to see if anyone had come in to my cabin and woken me. Perhaps with an urgent matter that needed a judgemental decision. Then listening to hear if the officer-of –the-watch on the bridge was calling through the loudspeaker just above my head. A shipping report or a change in our tasking. Listening for the sound of running feet or shouted orders indicated some emergency. A change in the engine noise that is not expected.Read on…

A very special line up

If you want to network, to explore the many creatively different ways in which people are using NLP and have a fun time with great food then this is the place to be in July

Here is a glimpse of the line up

Frances Goodman—Finding your True colours
Christine Downton—Understanding the economy with NLP
Harry Key—Provocative what else?!
Nikita Thakur—The magic of dance
Danny Maude—Achieving world class performance
Sandra Hill—Fashion Director previously with Paul Smith and just world class model of excellence
Stewart Hamblin—Discover Feldenkrais (NLP for the body although Feldenkrais is for the whole person!)
Graham Bower—The power of thought in cancer recovery
Diane Seaborne—Singing Together
Ramesh Prasad—Journey to Truth

Inspire days speakers Nikita Stewart Sandra Graham Lisa Frances Ramesh Harry Christine Diane Daniel

A Taste of India

My first visit to India in January 2012 was a life-changing experience.

Sylvia Stevenson

I lived in fear of being in India. I hate insects, am paranoid about cleanliness and had never been to a country like this (apart from my home country of Jamaica) I remember arriving outside Kochi to a blur of faces (very friendly faces admittedly) and a crowd of people and experiencing sheer panic! Then there was the journey from the airport to the resort. Read on…

Get well soon Frank

Frank Farrelly has been ill with pneumonia since last Autumn. He cancelled all programmes, which if you know Frank would only be something he would do if he could not drag himself to be at the promised venues. His recovery is slow and he has lost a lot of weight which he says he had always wanted to do but not quite like this. We are thinking of you Frank and all that you have given us and wish you a full recovery, and hope to see you back in the UK hopefully this year…

Calling all Sue Knight Trainers

A teacher ought to be a stranger to the desire for domination, vain-glory, and pride; one should not be able to fool him by flattery, nor blind him by gifts, nor conquer him by the stomach, nor dominate him by anger; but he should be patient, gentle, and humbler as far as possible; he must be tested and without partisanship, full of concern for people, and a lover of souls.

Amma Theodora

UK trainingIf you look at the bottom of our home page www.sueknight.com you will see some new buttons, some very important new buttons. We have three that represent the main areas in the world where you France training can attend my programmes and the fourth button—Recommended… well if you click this button you will find a list ofIndia training trainings offered by people who have trained with me to the level of NLP Trainer and beyond… and not just that.They are people who subscribe to the values that constitute the Sue Knight brand and who offer NLP that is based on the same principles that Recommended trainingI have learnt over the years especially from my mentor Gene Early but also Frank Farrelly and David Grove.If you think might want to be a part of this Sue Knight brand then contact me

…and a late addition to the alumni - from truant schoolboy to Major in the Royal Marines - a lesson in leadership with James Knight

James Knight RM

When in deep water put your attention on the fish!

It was about 6 months ago when my son said “We are going to the Great Barrier Reef Mum, it would be great to dive together”.

Alex Knight

“We are going to the Great Barrier Reef Mum…”

Those words had such an impact. First that my son wanted me to dive with him (I am sure that the parents in you know of those moments when your children no longer want to be associated with you!) and my son is 30 years old now, so I felt very honoured that a) he wanted me to dive with him and b) that he thought I could!! Let me give you some background information – I have spent my life (well the bits of it that involved water) keeping my head out of it – water that is. I can do a beautiful breastroke with my head (and in the 60’s – my false eyelashes) well out of the water at all times. So this would be a challenge.

My principle has always been to say Yes to my sons and at this stage I found that word hard to get out of my mouth, but I didn’t say No. I thought ‘I will explore this’ though at this stage not with much expectation that I would really manage it. Read on and see some pics…


I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. Frank Herbert 1965